Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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