well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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