Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
