U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
