She went from zero to smokin in five shots
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
