I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
