how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
