the day after is always just damage control
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
