how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
