Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
