But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
