i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
