I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
