You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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