cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
