is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
