I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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