dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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