yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
