So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I want her autograph on my taint
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize