i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
