She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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