Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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