If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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