I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Its about making memories worth repressing
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
