I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
