What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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