The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
it's like iHOP with fire
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
