You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
