it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
