just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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