have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
