In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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