I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize