we have officially lost it.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
