Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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