he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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