mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
