I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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