I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
