Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
