Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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