oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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