Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
