So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
