O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
