At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
