then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
