Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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