I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
