once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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