apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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