i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
